Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Cherry blossom at branch brook
We went to see cherry blossom yesterday afternoon. The flowers were so beautiful with white, pink, and burgendy color. There were a young group of girls with their friend, a photographer, fooling around. The five girls climbed up an old tree with multiple branches. Each of them came up with different posture and wore diverse fashion style. Their action attracted many passengers' notice, including us. They were fantastic! (I will post the photoes later when I have it.)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Real Simple Reader Etiquette Poll
Over 7,000 of you weighed in on manners; here’s what you (and experts) had to say.
How Should You Seat Guests at a Dinner Party?
Readers say:
Let them pick their own seats: 54.6%
Boy, girl, boy, girl: 28.8%
No married couples together: 16.6%
Experts say: “There are no longer any rules,” says Anna Post, a great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and the author of the blog What Would Emily Post Do? backing up the majority of readers. But for large gatherings, she says, “a host might still want to arrange the seating to prevent predinner musical chairs.” People should be seated with the goal of creating lively conversation, whether that means seating couples together or not.
If You Receive a Birth Announcement, Do You Have to Send a Gift?
Readers say:
No, only if you’re good friends with the couple: 73.9%
Yes, every time: 21%
Never: 5.1%
Experts say: “Baby announcements, along with graduation and wedding announcements, don’t carry the expectation of a gift,” says Post. “Still,” she says, “as with all happy events, you certainly can send something if you want to.”
A Man and a Woman Arrive at a Revolving Door. Who Goes Through First?
Readers say:
Ladies first: 52.3%
Whoever gets there first. This is the 21st century! 24.2%
The man goes first so he can push the door for the woman: 23.5%
Experts say: Step back, ladies. It may seem counterintuitive, but by taking the lead at a revolving door, a man is being chivalrous, saving you the effort of (heaven forbid) pushing the door. “A gentleman should always go first and assist the woman through the revolving door, and I observe this on a daily basis,” says Joe Snyder, a doorman at the Park Hyatt Chicago hotel.
When You Have Company and the Phone Rings, What Should You Do?
Readers say:
Let it go to voice mail. You need to stay 100 percent focused on your guests: 52.3%
See who’s calling, then decide: 47.7%
Experts say: “Maintaining social contact with your guests is most important,” says Nikolaus Christmann, a butler in New York City who consults on entertaining etiquette. So unless you are a doctor on call or have some other compelling reason to be picking up, “don’t allow it to ring at all,” he says. “Turn off the ringers on phones in the rooms that you and your guests will be using.” The same rule applies to cell phones.
Do You Always Have to Bring a Hostess Gift When You’re Invited to Someone’s House for Dinner?
Readers say:
Of course: 49.7%
No, just follow up with a thank-you note: 33%
Only if it’s a fancy dinner: 17.3%
Experts say: “Hostess gifts aren’t mandatory at less formal functions,” says Robin Abrahams, who writes the Miss Conduct social-advice column in The Boston Globe Magazine, “but it’s never wrong to bring one.” Remember: No flowers unless they’re in a vase, and don’t expect wine or food gifts to be consumed at the meal. And, adds Abrahams, “if you don’t know the hostess well, give something regiftable, like candles.”
Is It OK to Use a Cell Phone on Public Transportation?
Readers say:
Yes, if it’s a time-sensitive conversation and you’re quiet: 49.0%
Never: 44.4%
Sure. You’ve got to pass the time somehow: 6.6%
Experts say: Try to avoid it, but if you absolutely must make a call, keep it brief―no gabbing just to gab. “And be honest with yourself about how loud you actually are,” says Abrahams. Consider that one person’s quietly sensitive conversation is another’s noisy disruption.
What Should You Do With the Sheets and Towels at the End of a Visit?
Readers say:
Ask your hostess what her preference is: 68.6%
Strip the bed and leave your towels and sheets in a neat pile: 26.2%
Leave everything as is: 5.2%
Experts say: The pros agree that asking your hostess’s preference probably makes the most sense. But stripping the bed and leaving your dirty sheets and towels next to it or in the laundry area isn’t going to offend anyone. And Christmann backs up the 5 percent who opt to do nothing. “Why were you invited in the first place?” he says. “To clean the room or to spend as much time together as possible?”
If You’re Invited to a Birthday Dinner With a Large Group, Do You Expect the Organizer to Pick Up the Check?
Readers say:
The whole group should split the bill: 78.6%
He or she should, of course: 21.4%
Experts say: Restaurateurs across the country said they find bill splitting more common among 20- and 30-somethings than older diners, who are more likely to foot the bill for a group. However, patrons of any age “who dine together frequently” often split the bill, says Jen Hansen, the director of operations at Le Colonial, a popular special-occasion dining spot in Chicago.
Do You Need to Stand When Being Introduced to Someone?
Readers say:
Yes: 62.6%
Only if it’s someone older: 22.7%
No, that’s old-fashioned: 14.8%
Experts say: Upstanding readers have it just right, says Christmann: “Standing up is an important show of politeness and a great sign of civility. Unless you’re physically unable to, you should get up for everyone.”
Should You Wear Panty Hose to an Interview?
Readers say:
It all depends on the workplace: 67.2%
Only if you want to get the job: 23.2%
No. That old-school rule has expired: 9.6%
Experts say: “In a creative environment, there’s no need to conform to the traditional interview garb―and that means panty hose,” says Beth Saseen, a senior design recruiter for the Nike Footwear and Product Design Group, in Beaverton, Oregon. That said, if you’re seeking work at a formal office, where women tend to wear skirt suits, hosiery is a must, says Judith Bowman, author of Don’t Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette ($15, Career Press, Bing shopping).
Your Significant Other Is Left Off a Wedding Invitation. What Do You Do?
Readers say:
Bring it up directly with the bride: 46.6%
Say nothing and attend the wedding solo: 44.3%
Return the RSVP with your significant other’s name written in: 9.2%
Experts say: “A bride who has spent months obsessively editing her guest list may beg to differ, but from an etiquette standpoint, it is OK to ask. Just be prepared to hear that your partner can’t be included,” says Elise Mac Adam, a wedding-etiquette authority and the author of Something New ($15, Simon Spotlight Entertainment). And, no, never just write an extra person’s name on the response card.
Is It Rude to Ask Someone What They Paid for Their House?
Readers say:
Yes. That’s none of your business: 52%
It’s OK only if you’re looking to rent or buy in the area: 47.2%
No. Fire away: 0.8%
Experts say: “Yes, it’s rude,” says Barbara Corcoran, the founder of the Corcoran Group, a real estate firm in New York City, and a contributor to the Today Show. “But you can probably get most of the same information by asking, ‘How much are homes like this selling or renting for today?’ Usually people will readily give you the value within 10 percent.”
Should You Comment on a Friend’s New Hairstyle, Even If You Don’t Like It?
Readers say:
Say nothing unless she asks: 46.9%
Yes―and always say it looks great: 45.5%
Yes―and be totally honest: 7.6%
Experts say: “You have to say something,” says Gaetano Ruvio, a stylist at the Miguel Lopez Salon, in New York City. But instead of proclaiming unqualified love, he suggests finding out what your friend thinks: “Say, ‘I noticed your haircut. Are you going to someone new?’ If she’s not thrilled, you can tactfully commiserate and encourage her to get it fixed.”
Bing Shopping:Find hair products>
Can You Ask a Teacher at Your Child’s School to Babysit?
Readers say:
No. That’s a line you shouldn’t cross: 80.6%
It’s OK as long as it’s not your child’s teacher: 12.4%
Sure. She can always say no: 7%
Experts say: It’s generally considered inappropriate. In fact, many schools have a policy in place on whether or not teachers are able to babysit students―and the answer is usually no. “If a grade-school teacher were asked, she would probably be speechless,” says Siobhan Henry-Hooker of Burlington, Vermont, who has worked for nine years as a preschool and grade-school teacher.
Do You Need to Write a Thank-you Note if You Opened the Gift in Front of the Giver?
Readers say:
Of course. Every gift deserves a note: 59.7%
No. A heartfelt “Thank you” in person is fine: 36.2%
It depends on how nice the gift is: 4.0%
Experts say: The stationery industry will be cheered by the readers’ pen-happy response to this question, but “an in-person thank-you is sufficient,” says Post. The exception: baby- and wedding-shower gifts, since the flurry of activity at those events may not allow for a proper acknowledgment of every gift giver.
You’ve Been Asked to Write a Recommendation, but You Don’t Have Good Things to Say
Readers say:
Encourage the person to ask someone else: 73.6%
Say you will and write a lukewarm-to-cool recommendation: 17.5%
Lie and tell the person you’re too busy: 8.9%
Experts say: “The only references I’ve ever given have been for those with whom I had good working relationships,” says Saseen. If that’s not the case, tell the person it’s against company policy to give a reference. And keep this in mind: For the job seeker, “getting no reference is better than getting a mediocre one,” says Stephen Viscusi, a career consultant and the author of Bulletproof Your Job ($20, Harper Collins).
Is It Rude to Pursue a Friend Who Hasn’t Responded to a Phone Call or an E-mail?
Readers say:
Yes, it’s rude. People have lives: 60.9%
No. It’s your friend. You can nag her: 39.1%
Experts say: “If it’s really important, then it’s fine to follow up,” says Will Schwalbe, a coauthor of Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better($20, Knopf). “Your e-mail may have been caught in a spam filter or your voice mail may have been accidentally erased. But if you are just feeling insecure, don’t pester! Everyone is busy and deserves a few days to get back to you.”
How Should You Seat Guests at a Dinner Party?
Readers say:
Let them pick their own seats: 54.6%
Boy, girl, boy, girl: 28.8%
No married couples together: 16.6%
Experts say: “There are no longer any rules,” says Anna Post, a great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and the author of the blog What Would Emily Post Do? backing up the majority of readers. But for large gatherings, she says, “a host might still want to arrange the seating to prevent predinner musical chairs.” People should be seated with the goal of creating lively conversation, whether that means seating couples together or not.
If You Receive a Birth Announcement, Do You Have to Send a Gift?
Readers say:
No, only if you’re good friends with the couple: 73.9%
Yes, every time: 21%
Never: 5.1%
Experts say: “Baby announcements, along with graduation and wedding announcements, don’t carry the expectation of a gift,” says Post. “Still,” she says, “as with all happy events, you certainly can send something if you want to.”
A Man and a Woman Arrive at a Revolving Door. Who Goes Through First?
Readers say:
Ladies first: 52.3%
Whoever gets there first. This is the 21st century! 24.2%
The man goes first so he can push the door for the woman: 23.5%
Experts say: Step back, ladies. It may seem counterintuitive, but by taking the lead at a revolving door, a man is being chivalrous, saving you the effort of (heaven forbid) pushing the door. “A gentleman should always go first and assist the woman through the revolving door, and I observe this on a daily basis,” says Joe Snyder, a doorman at the Park Hyatt Chicago hotel.
When You Have Company and the Phone Rings, What Should You Do?
Readers say:
Let it go to voice mail. You need to stay 100 percent focused on your guests: 52.3%
See who’s calling, then decide: 47.7%
Experts say: “Maintaining social contact with your guests is most important,” says Nikolaus Christmann, a butler in New York City who consults on entertaining etiquette. So unless you are a doctor on call or have some other compelling reason to be picking up, “don’t allow it to ring at all,” he says. “Turn off the ringers on phones in the rooms that you and your guests will be using.” The same rule applies to cell phones.
Do You Always Have to Bring a Hostess Gift When You’re Invited to Someone’s House for Dinner?
Readers say:
Of course: 49.7%
No, just follow up with a thank-you note: 33%
Only if it’s a fancy dinner: 17.3%
Experts say: “Hostess gifts aren’t mandatory at less formal functions,” says Robin Abrahams, who writes the Miss Conduct social-advice column in The Boston Globe Magazine, “but it’s never wrong to bring one.” Remember: No flowers unless they’re in a vase, and don’t expect wine or food gifts to be consumed at the meal. And, adds Abrahams, “if you don’t know the hostess well, give something regiftable, like candles.”
Is It OK to Use a Cell Phone on Public Transportation?
Readers say:
Yes, if it’s a time-sensitive conversation and you’re quiet: 49.0%
Never: 44.4%
Sure. You’ve got to pass the time somehow: 6.6%
Experts say: Try to avoid it, but if you absolutely must make a call, keep it brief―no gabbing just to gab. “And be honest with yourself about how loud you actually are,” says Abrahams. Consider that one person’s quietly sensitive conversation is another’s noisy disruption.
What Should You Do With the Sheets and Towels at the End of a Visit?
Readers say:
Ask your hostess what her preference is: 68.6%
Strip the bed and leave your towels and sheets in a neat pile: 26.2%
Leave everything as is: 5.2%
Experts say: The pros agree that asking your hostess’s preference probably makes the most sense. But stripping the bed and leaving your dirty sheets and towels next to it or in the laundry area isn’t going to offend anyone. And Christmann backs up the 5 percent who opt to do nothing. “Why were you invited in the first place?” he says. “To clean the room or to spend as much time together as possible?”
If You’re Invited to a Birthday Dinner With a Large Group, Do You Expect the Organizer to Pick Up the Check?
Readers say:
The whole group should split the bill: 78.6%
He or she should, of course: 21.4%
Experts say: Restaurateurs across the country said they find bill splitting more common among 20- and 30-somethings than older diners, who are more likely to foot the bill for a group. However, patrons of any age “who dine together frequently” often split the bill, says Jen Hansen, the director of operations at Le Colonial, a popular special-occasion dining spot in Chicago.
Do You Need to Stand When Being Introduced to Someone?
Readers say:
Yes: 62.6%
Only if it’s someone older: 22.7%
No, that’s old-fashioned: 14.8%
Experts say: Upstanding readers have it just right, says Christmann: “Standing up is an important show of politeness and a great sign of civility. Unless you’re physically unable to, you should get up for everyone.”
Should You Wear Panty Hose to an Interview?
Readers say:
It all depends on the workplace: 67.2%
Only if you want to get the job: 23.2%
No. That old-school rule has expired: 9.6%
Experts say: “In a creative environment, there’s no need to conform to the traditional interview garb―and that means panty hose,” says Beth Saseen, a senior design recruiter for the Nike Footwear and Product Design Group, in Beaverton, Oregon. That said, if you’re seeking work at a formal office, where women tend to wear skirt suits, hosiery is a must, says Judith Bowman, author of Don’t Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette ($15, Career Press, Bing shopping).
Your Significant Other Is Left Off a Wedding Invitation. What Do You Do?
Readers say:
Bring it up directly with the bride: 46.6%
Say nothing and attend the wedding solo: 44.3%
Return the RSVP with your significant other’s name written in: 9.2%
Experts say: “A bride who has spent months obsessively editing her guest list may beg to differ, but from an etiquette standpoint, it is OK to ask. Just be prepared to hear that your partner can’t be included,” says Elise Mac Adam, a wedding-etiquette authority and the author of Something New ($15, Simon Spotlight Entertainment). And, no, never just write an extra person’s name on the response card.
Is It Rude to Ask Someone What They Paid for Their House?
Readers say:
Yes. That’s none of your business: 52%
It’s OK only if you’re looking to rent or buy in the area: 47.2%
No. Fire away: 0.8%
Experts say: “Yes, it’s rude,” says Barbara Corcoran, the founder of the Corcoran Group, a real estate firm in New York City, and a contributor to the Today Show. “But you can probably get most of the same information by asking, ‘How much are homes like this selling or renting for today?’ Usually people will readily give you the value within 10 percent.”
Should You Comment on a Friend’s New Hairstyle, Even If You Don’t Like It?
Readers say:
Say nothing unless she asks: 46.9%
Yes―and always say it looks great: 45.5%
Yes―and be totally honest: 7.6%
Experts say: “You have to say something,” says Gaetano Ruvio, a stylist at the Miguel Lopez Salon, in New York City. But instead of proclaiming unqualified love, he suggests finding out what your friend thinks: “Say, ‘I noticed your haircut. Are you going to someone new?’ If she’s not thrilled, you can tactfully commiserate and encourage her to get it fixed.”
Bing Shopping:Find hair products>
Can You Ask a Teacher at Your Child’s School to Babysit?
Readers say:
No. That’s a line you shouldn’t cross: 80.6%
It’s OK as long as it’s not your child’s teacher: 12.4%
Sure. She can always say no: 7%
Experts say: It’s generally considered inappropriate. In fact, many schools have a policy in place on whether or not teachers are able to babysit students―and the answer is usually no. “If a grade-school teacher were asked, she would probably be speechless,” says Siobhan Henry-Hooker of Burlington, Vermont, who has worked for nine years as a preschool and grade-school teacher.
Do You Need to Write a Thank-you Note if You Opened the Gift in Front of the Giver?
Readers say:
Of course. Every gift deserves a note: 59.7%
No. A heartfelt “Thank you” in person is fine: 36.2%
It depends on how nice the gift is: 4.0%
Experts say: The stationery industry will be cheered by the readers’ pen-happy response to this question, but “an in-person thank-you is sufficient,” says Post. The exception: baby- and wedding-shower gifts, since the flurry of activity at those events may not allow for a proper acknowledgment of every gift giver.
You’ve Been Asked to Write a Recommendation, but You Don’t Have Good Things to Say
Readers say:
Encourage the person to ask someone else: 73.6%
Say you will and write a lukewarm-to-cool recommendation: 17.5%
Lie and tell the person you’re too busy: 8.9%
Experts say: “The only references I’ve ever given have been for those with whom I had good working relationships,” says Saseen. If that’s not the case, tell the person it’s against company policy to give a reference. And keep this in mind: For the job seeker, “getting no reference is better than getting a mediocre one,” says Stephen Viscusi, a career consultant and the author of Bulletproof Your Job ($20, Harper Collins).
Is It Rude to Pursue a Friend Who Hasn’t Responded to a Phone Call or an E-mail?
Readers say:
Yes, it’s rude. People have lives: 60.9%
No. It’s your friend. You can nag her: 39.1%
Experts say: “If it’s really important, then it’s fine to follow up,” says Will Schwalbe, a coauthor of Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better($20, Knopf). “Your e-mail may have been caught in a spam filter or your voice mail may have been accidentally erased. But if you are just feeling insecure, don’t pester! Everyone is busy and deserves a few days to get back to you.”
About Second Language Pragmatics
Here is something might not really related to language pragmatics but it is interesting. In America, we should avoid to say somebody fat. Since Spanish is another popular languague in the States, sometimes I heard people say it in Spanish to refer to someone who they disliked. In Spanish, for the same meaning, "Gordo" is for a male, "gorda" for a female. In this way, people can say what they want but not show rude in public since not everybody know Spanish.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
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